|chibirisuchan (chibirisuchan) wrote,|
@ 2004-11-25 12:24:00
'cause I'm feeling goofy & FF.net is offline... let's see how this rich text thing works. If not I'm going to be spending a while reformatting. It's already eaten one try at posting this...
A few hours after Kakashi had left for his shopping spree, Iruka woke to the sounds of someone being violently ill, and the sounds of someone else moaning. With a yawn and a small tired sigh, he untangled his feet from the blankets and walked quietly toward the bathroom.
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Sakura was the one emptying her stomach into the toilet; remembering entirely too clearly what it had felt like a few months earlier, Iruka got a washcloth and wet it, and crouched by her side to wait for the latest round of spasms to ease before he touched her cheek with the cool damp fabric. The girl made a pathetic little whimper, eyes screwed tightly shut and one hand clutching her head.
"Iruka-sensei, I'm going to die..."
He washed her face for her with a careful hand, and said ruefully, "Believe it or not, a hangover really isn't life-threatening, however much it might feel like it at the moment."
"You don't understand," she moaned. "I want to die... have you got a kunai? Will you just cut my head off for me so it stops hurting?"
Deciding it was best not to answer that one at the moment, Iruka quietly guided her towards leaning her forehead against the cool, slightly damp water tank, and got a glass of water for her. "Rinse your mouth," he said, "and then sip at it, a little at a time. I'll be back in a minute..."
Sakura clutched at Iruka's sleeve. "Don't leave!"
"You've gotten dehydrated, so I need to get a little sugar and salt into your water," he said. "And I need to check on Naruto too. I'll be right back, I promise."
With a groan, Sakura started beating her forehead against the toilet's water tank. It only lasted about two thunks before she gave up, whimpering again; with another sigh, Iruka headed downstairs.
Naruto was curled up on the couch with his face buried in the crevice between the pillows, emitting a series of strange half-muffled moans.
"Naruto? Naruto, don't do that, you don't want to suffocate yourself--"
"Turn off the sun!" he groaned.
Iruka bit his lip to keep from laughing at that request, because the poor boy wouldn't have taken it well. He couldn't turn off the sun, of course, but hanging a heavy blanket over the window blinds seemed to serve almost the same purpose. It was only a few minutes' mixing to fill two glasses with water and stir a pinch of salt and sugar and a few drops of lemon juice into them, to make it easier for dehydrated bodies to accept the liquid; it took a little coaxing to extract Naruto's head from the sofa, but when he was huddled around the cup instead of away from it, Iruka headed back upstairs to check on Sakura.
She'd crawled back into her bedding, the wrong direction, so that her head was at the dark spot at the bottom of the blankets and her feet were sprawled across the pillow.
"Sakura-kun, you really should drink this..."
Iruka considered for a moment, then untucked the blanket at the bottom of the futon and tugged so that he could find enough of her head to be able to locate her mouth. "I promise this will make you feel better soon," he said, offering the cup. "Do you want help drinking it?"
"Go away and let me die in peace..."
"You're not going to die," Iruka said, rather tartly. "Now, I can either help you drink this or I can make you drink this; which would you prefer?"
One of Sakura's hands wormed its way out of the blankets and took the glass.
After he'd gotten a reasonable amount of fluid into the hangover-stricken children, Iruka went looking for Sasuke, who was no longer curled up under the kitchen table. He wasn't anywhere in the house either; after a moment's thought, he went outside and looked up. Sure enough, the boy was sitting on the roof, wearing an expression that said an interruption wouldn't be welcome. Iruka sighed again, rubbing the hollow of his back almost reflexively against the ongoing ache there, and headed back inside to find a corner and a book to read while he waited for Kakashi to come back with the groceries and Sasuke to come back from whatever brooding he'd found necessary.
It really shouldn't have taken hours for Kakashi to come up with breakfast food, Iruka thought, opening a cookbook to look for recipes that were easy to digest for hangover victims. But since it was Kakashi, he wasn't really all that surprised, either.
Iruka only realized he'd dozed off when he woke again -- only his cookbook was gone, and had been replaced by a fluffy warm blanket and pillow. He blinked around drowsily, digging a hand out of the blanket to rub at sleep-fogged eyes, trying to focus on a pink and blue blur...
...a pink, blue, and silver blur...
"Good morning!" Kakashi said brightly, bending over with a breakfast tray in his hands. "Feeling any more rested now, love? Here, let me help you sit up--"
With a flurry of blankets, Iruka found that he'd scrambled away and was shivering with his back pressed into a corner before he was even consciously aware of moving.
"...Where is Kakashi and what did you do with him?!"
Kakashi didn't even blink. "I'm being good for two weeks, remember?"
"But... but you... but...!" Iruka gestured helplessly, overwhelmed.
"Hmm...?" Kakashi glanced down at the tray in his hands, the rose in the vase, and the frilly pink apron adorned with hearts and teddy bears. "...Oh, this? I just thought it would help me remember to be good if I make sure to dress the part. And what's more wholesome than being a good homemaker?"
Despite Kakashi's best intentions, a twitch of a grin was starting to show through; he was clearly too used to relying on the mask as he said, a little too wide-eyed and earnest, "Isn't the apron just adorable? I found it at the kitchen shop, along with the little angel cookie cutters; take a look at the toast..."
Sitting at the breakfast table after Kakashi had patiently coaxed him down from his terrorized clinging to the top of the nearest bookshelf, Iruka stared down in horror at the little angel toasts and tried not to whimper. They even had little raisin eyes. It was terrifying.
I should have known better. I should have thought. Leave it to Hatake Kakashi to turn 'being good' into an act of psychological warfare...
Kakashi had insisted that a happy family ate meals together, and had rounded up all three of the children. Naruto was still too busy clutching his head and whimpering about the sun to notice anything unusual. Sasuke was staring down at the toast with Sharingan-wheels spinning in his eyes and a spasmodic twitch at the temple. Sakura, hand over her eyes to block out the light, was fumbling around her plate with one hand trying to find something edible. Her fingers landed in the jelly; despite herself she looked through her fingers at that, then realized she was sticking her fingers through angel-shaped toast. Then she looked over at Kakashi to protest, and focused on the apron.
Naruto looked up at the scream. "Huh? Oh... good morning, Sakura-chan!"
"What the bloody hell's so good about it?!"
"Well, the breakfast is good," Kakashi said perkily. "Made with all my love and devotion--" There were even sparkles dancing in the air around him. Iruka didn't want to think about how he'd come up with the jutsu to manage that.
Somehow, Sakura seemed to be impervious to the sparkles. "And YOU! ANGEL TOAST? What the HELL--"
This was shaping up to be quite a morning-after, Iruka thought, rubbing his temples against the wash of deja vu as he watched Kakashi holding up a plate of cute bunny-shaped orange slices to try to coax Sakura down from her trembling perch on the top of the refrigerator.