(yes it's a bad photoshop hat, but that is a 16 lb cat with allll his claws intact. I wasn't feeling enough like bleeding to try for the real live version. XD)
My friends and I specialize in Evil Cookies. Yes really. Christmas Orcs, Christmas Uruk-hai, Cthulhu Gingerbread, and D&D Monster Manual Sugar Cookies to be specific.
Here are the Orc & Uruk-Hai cookie recipes, since any gingerbread or sugar cookie recipe can be Warped to the Purposes of Evil(TM) if you're crazy enough and have a butter knife handy.
Christmas Orcs (a.k.a. Oatmeal, Raisin, Cranberry, Pecan, Chocolate Chip Cookies, but ORCPCCCs is too hard to pronounce!) (from Cookies for Christmas)
1 cup raisins 1 cup dried cranberries Boiling water 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp salt 2 sticks sweet butter, softened 2/3 cup granulated sugar 2/3 cup packed brown sugar 2 tsp vanilla extract 2 large eggs 2 cups rolled oats 1 cup chocolate chips 1 cup pecans, coarsely chopped Additional granulated sugar
Equipment: electric mixer; cookie sheets, lined with parchment paper or lightly greased; wire racks for cooling
1. Preheat oven to 375°F. 2. In a small bowl, combine raisins and cranberries. Pour in boiling water just to cover. Let stand for 10 minutes. Drain in a strainer and set aside. 3. In another bowl, stir flour, baking soda, and salt with a wire whisk, to blend. Set aside. 4. In a large bowl, cream butter with an electric mixer at medium speed. Increase speed and gradually beat in granulated sugar, followed by brown sugar and vanilla extract. Continue beating until mixture is light and fluffy. Keeping the mixer at high speed, beat in the eggs one at a time. 5. Reduce speed and gradually mix in the flour mixture. 6. Use a large wooden spoon to fold in the rolled oats. Fold in the chocolate chips, the pecans, and the raisins and cranberries. 7. Drop by teaspoonfuls 2 inches apart onto the prepared cookie sheets. Pour some granulated sugar in a small bowl. Wet the bottom of a water glass, dip bottom of glass in granulated sugar, and press each cookie gently to flatten the top. Dip bottom of glass in granulated sugar before pressing each cookie. 8. Bake cookies 10 to 12 minutes, until cookies are golden brown. Remove from oven, let cool on cookie sheets for a few minutes, then transfer cookies to wire racks to cool. Store completely cooled cookies in an airtight container.
Yield: 3 to 4 dozen cookies Will keep: several weeks at room temperature... iiiiiif you can manage not to eat them all for that long. :D
Variant: Christmas Uruk-Hai have white chocolate chips in place of regular ones and cashews (or macadamia nuts) in place of pecans.
My power has been flickering due to the ice storms we've had (not aided by the silver maple tree that is sitting on the power line in the back of my house, I'm sure), so I may not be very fast at answering comments and I'm going to be netless for at least 2 days starting tomorrow, but Merry Christmas everyone!