This is the first time in my life I've ever owned a pet I could actually touch (goldfish in junior high just don't count) and I'm noticing the little fuzzball has some distinct personality peculiarities that don't seem to match the other cats I've known.
So, Why My Cat is Really Odd...
1. He licks as loudly as a dog. No joke. When he's washing you can hear it all over the house. For a while I was scared he was hacking up hairballs, but no, he's just got a noisy lick.
2. He thinks his pet bed is another cat, and is afraid of it. I got him a fluffy fake-fur black pillow since my neighbors' cats love their furry blanket. It's about the same size he is. He thinks it's another cat, hisses at it, sniffs and swats and jumps back, and then pounces on it and gnaws on the fringe and kicks with his back legs.
3. Ditto for his scratching post-tunnel-thing. I make sure the scratching post is standing up when I go to bed at night. Most of the mornings, the scratching post is knocked over halfway across the room when I get up. He wraps himself around it and kicks with his back feet and thump there it goes.
4. I am not allowed to go to the bathroom without supervision. Or to bed. Or anything that involves me going behind the Big Scary Hallway Door of People Eating. Because he just KNOWS I'm never going to come back and the dressmaker's dummy is going to eat me and spit out the bones and he cries and cries and cries because he'll Never See Me Again The Wolves Are Going to Eat Him and He's All Alone In the Cold Cruel World. Of course, most of the time I DO come back out five minutes later, because the last time I checked the dressmaker dummy didn't have a head to eat me with. But he never remembers that.
5. What he DOES remember is the Nail Caps Of Doom. It took three of us to get four nail caps on him in an effort to keep him from tearing chunks out of my carpet (and my hands and my legs and my sweaters) when he gets too enthusiastic about kneading-with-claws when he's happy. We have yet to succeed in getting any more of them on him, and he's escaped from one. We need to try again soon, because my carpet is getting a torn-out patch already and he's only been here a couple weeks. (I put up cardboard partitions to keep him from doing the same to the sides and back of my sofa, but I really can't cover the entire floor with cardboard...)
6. He's a very talky cat. He'll wake up and stretch and trot over and look at me and then he just meows indignantly like "why are you not reading my mind already?" This may be a universal cat thing (the dissatisfaction with lack of mind reading, that is) but my neighbors' cats don't complain about it quite so loudly.
7. He also herds me like a sheepdog. For the first couple weeks, in addition to not being allowed through the hallway door of people eating, I was not allowed to stand up, walk over to the TV, walk into the kitchen for water, or (oh the horror) leave for work without a cat insistently winding around my legs purring like mad -- and then yowling and swatting at my ankles if I persisted in my misbehavior.
8. When scritching time is required, BOTH HANDS MUST BE USED or the situation is entirely unacceptable. He doesn't like my lap desk (it wobbles when he steps on it) so he'll walk very precisely across my hip bones and flop down with his butt over one hand and his chin over the other and demand scritches right then, and then he'll decide that isn't good enough and turn around and shove his head under my chin so I can be rubbing him with my head AND both hands at once.
9. He purrs like a baritone, but mews like a soprano. He's got one of the girliest little mews ever. It's terrifyingly cute, especially when he's shoving his head under your chin. (And he's got the art of sounding pitiful down to a SCIENCE when the Hallway Door has Eaten Me.)
9b. He also growls. Specifically at the sound of car doors slamming. He'll go all tense and grrrrrrrrrRRRRRrrrrr when anybody comes home in the neighborhood, and if anybody comes to my front door, he's gone at lightspeed.
10. I have accidentally attached the Kitty AutoExerciser to his neck. He's a nearly all black cat, and he has the usual cat addiction to sunbeams. I have a south-facing window in the living room that he curls up in every afternoon. He also has a very shiny new nametag with my phone number on it in case he gets out again (which he's already done once, and his former owners warned me that it's going to get worse when the weather gets better). So he lies down in the sunbeam and stretches and the shiny tag reflects a light-sparkle that then he HAS TO GO CATCH but he can NEVER CATCH UP and OMG KILLRAGEMAIMAUUUGHflophmph I didn't want it anyway until the next time he stretches.
Fic coming soon, honest! I've got today off and only two days of work before another weekend... still need to sew more, but I'm taking today as an honest to god Vacation Day as opposed to a WorkingOnDifferentWork Day...