|chibirisuchan (chibirisuchan) wrote,|
@ 2005-07-13 21:27:00
"...And what precisely about that speech was supposed to make me let
my guard down?" Iruka asked, one eyebrow twitching in irritation.
Kakashi's grin was a bit lopsided -- the bruise and split lip Sasuke had left
on his face were likely to take a day or two to heal -- but the impish glee
shining out of him was completely unimpaired. Any other day, Iruka might have
mistaken it for the real thing, rather than a hastily-reassembled facade.
"Well, there's always the fact that the kiss-and-make-out part of it is
so much more fun than the fight itself--"
"It's 'kiss and make UP,' not 'kiss and make OUT,' you--
"Really? Hmmm..." Kakashi rubbed his chin for a moment, then concluded
brightly, "Yep, I like my version better! They obviously don't know what
And he caught Iruka's face between his hands and affixed their lips together,
and held on. For quite a while. Despite Iruka's wriggling irritation, despite
all of Iruka's intentions of pulling back and having a serious conversation
about why Kakashi felt so compelled to hide all of his more sober emotions
behind the mischievous mask, particularly at a time like this-- despite the
occasional flinch when their mouths moved together in a way that brushed against
his split lip-- despite all of it, Iruka found himself knotting both hands in
the dark fabric of Kakashi's shirt and pulling him closer rather than pushing
away, arching into the skillful pressure of one warm hand in the aching hollow
of his back, hearing himself whimper as the other hand slipped beneath the
pajama tops to rub a teasing little circle just below the unbelievably ticklish
bulge of a navel that was being crowded out by the growing pressure from
"Don't--" Iruka managed to gasp somehow.
And to his utter astonishment, Kakashi's hand relented from its teasing
immediately, the palm cupping against the roundest place and then gently rubbing
down and around, a tender not-quite-massage of the muscles most strained by the
enlarging womb. His fingertips were far too clever at finding the
pressure-points in Iruka's belly despite the distortion of six months' increase;
the thumb of the other hand was kneading at a knot of tension in his back that
abruptly relented, a relief of pain that was nearly painful in itself. Iruka
managed a half-strangled squeak; Kakashi chuckled softly, and kissed his cheek
to let him gasp for breath, and shifted both hands to his sides, easing up the
One pale finger traced the ripple of tension where abdominal muscles still
struggled to maintain a semblance of their former trim shape despite the
rounding, ripening weight that grew within. Iruka hastily bit down on his
knuckles to keep from shrieking at the tickle; the last thing he needed
was for some inquisitive neighbor to wonder what they were doing in the back
yard of the schoolhouse before dawn.
"Does it hurt...?" Kakashi murmured, curving his palms to Iruka's sides to
feel for the nature of the tension.
Iruka shook his head a little, face burning. "Tickles. Like mad..."
Kakashi relaxed visibly at that, and turned a far too mischievous eye towards
his lover. "You should be thanking any god which listens that you only mentioned
that part while I'm feeling chastized already, you know. Ah, well. Inspiration
to remember for later!"
"You... I... er... oh, damn."
Kakashi's low-pitched chuckle was not at all reassuring. And then he
Iruka stared down at the shaggy silver mess of his hair in alarm. "I thought
you said you were feeling chastized--"
"Oh, that too," Kakashi breathed, barely an inch from Iruka's skin. "Lucky
for me, feeling chastized makes me horny."
"EVERYTHING makes you h--" Iruka stopped short, because all the breath
had caught in his throat and stuck there.
Kakashi's lips were impossibly warm and sweet against the snug rounding of
the baby's bulge, tender, silent, nearly reverent. He traced the curve of
Iruka's abdomen with light fingers, seeking something, and then shifted to place
another kiss there, and Iruka belatedly realized that he was kissing each of the
chakra-points in his belly. And leaving the imprint of his blood, from the split
"Kakashi...?" Iruka's voice trembled, rather embarrassingly.
"Arch your back a little," Kakashi said, guiding with a hand, and Iruka
shifted his weight as bidden, still shaken for a reason he couldn't even name.
Kakashi nodded encouragement and rested his head in Iruka's lap for a moment to
kiss the lower curve of his abdomen, below the bulging navel.
He followed a spiral pattern around the energy-centers of Iruka's abdomen,
kissing each chakra-point in turn, and then streaking a thumb through the blood
on his lip and connecting the points. Only then did Iruka realize that the
tingling warmth he felt went beyond his breathless, embarrassed desire for each
new tender kiss; Kakashi was sealing him into the jutsu, anchoring it and
strengthening it from his own life's energy with the blood-pact the greater
seals demanded of their users.
And then the seal locked into place, and the world went white.
Iruka had never been sealed before, and Naruto had been far too young to
remember his sealing, and far too young to feel this even if he had
remembered -- the heat of Kakashi's life pouring into him, filling him to
overflowing, hot and sparkling and ineffably tasting of him -- it was
perhaps the most purely erotic sensation Iruka had ever experienced. This was
what sex struggled to duplicate, the perfect joining of two lives' energy into
one body, beyond the limitations of mere flesh and blood...
...and then the awareness of it faded, and Kakashi was lying in his lap,
laughing breathlessly but enthusiastically at Iruka's expression.
"...did I just scream?" Iruka asked, in a very, very tiny voice, still
struggling to catch his breath.
Kakashi started laughing harder, interspersed with hilarity-choked wheezes
"Oh, no," Iruka breathed, letting his head fall back against Chibi's
side and panting for breath as well. "What... what do we... tell the
"The neighbors?" Kakashi wheezed, still grinning, with a glance toward the
Iruka felt his face burning scarlet, and he thumped Kakashi on the head hard.
"The kids-- Naruto's going to think we-- we-- anyway! What do we
do? He's never going to forgive us -- scratch that, he's never going to stop
teasing -- oh, God..."
"No he's not," Kakashi managed, clutching his ribs, half convulsed with
hilarity. "I got him drunk... remember...? He's not going to hear anything -- or
After a long panting silent moment, Iruka said, "Don't you even try to
claim that was deliberate foresight; I know better. And I'm going to hurt
you if you ask me to thank you for getting him drunk."
Wisely, Kakashi kept his mouth shut, aside from the far too smug grin.
Iruka struggled with himself for a moment, but the need to know was
scrabbling at his heart with sharp little claws of jealousy, and he fumbled
through an awkward attempt at the question: "Does it... is it... usually...
er... is it supposed to be... so, um...."
"Is what supposed to be what?" Kakashi asked, though the mirth in his eyes
said he already knew and was enjoying Iruka's blushing embarrassment... the
Iruka took a deep breath, and tried to get through it all in one rush. "The
sealing. Do -- do the people you seal -- do they all feel... that...? I mean...
is it always so... intense, so... um..." His voice squeaked humiliatingly at the
end: "...so erotic...?"
It was clearly taking a great exertion of willpower for Kakashi to keep from
doubling up in hysterics again.
"Don't laugh at me! Just answer the question -- I -- it's only fair; I have
the right to know that much-- don't I?"
"Yes," Kakashi said, in a voice that he was manfully struggling to
keep from brimming over with pure caramel mirth. "Yes, you have the right to
know. No, it's not always... like that."
He took a careful breath, coughed into his hand to try to fight off the
hilarity a little longer, and tried again.
"Intense... it usually is intense, yes. It's a blood-binding. But normally I
nick a fingertip, so it's easier to trace the patterns. I don't make a habit of
shaping seals with kisses, in case you wondered. You're a special case."
"But... it's the... connection, the... the time when... --I could feel
you, I could feel it was you, in my body, hotter than blood... is that
how it always is...?"
"No," Kakashi said again, and his smile was indulgent and adoring, and far
too knowledgeable, and Iruka had to look away. "It's not always like that. But a
woman's womb is a sexual organ, after all. --And I don't normally put
that much of myself into a sealing, either. Let's just say I was... feeling
"...you did that on purpose?"
"In a manner of speaking," Kakashi agreed, and tilted his head a bit to brush
another soft kiss against Iruka's belly. "Yes, the method of application
did have something to do with the, er, special effects. But most of it
was... I sealed us together. You have part of my life now, if you need it. If
your own strength falters, you'll draw on mine."
"...Wait. What? You mean -- you -- I -- wait. No--" Iruka stared down
at his lover in near paralytic bemusment. "You mean if I'm not strong enough to
hold this by myself, I'll drain you? Like I'm some sort of leech?
"I told you I'd support you through all of this," Kakashi replied lightly,
though his visible eye was sober. "I meant that. In every way."
"No! I'm not about to let you-- you said I could break this, didn't you? How
"Love," Kakashi interrupted quietly, "this evening, you'd exhausted yourself
to the point where you were having false pains as the jutsu wavered. It was my
fault. I've corrected it. You'll need more and more energy to maintain this as
time passes, as the child grows and draws its own strength from yours; if you
exhaust yourself to the point of contractions next month, or the month after,
the child could come too soon. --And like you said earlier: it's only fair,
isn't it? What's happening to you is my responsibility as well. I've finally
come up with a real way to support you through this."
Iruka opened his mouth to protest again, and stopped short at something in
Kakashi's voice. After a moment, he stroked his fingers through Kakashi's hair,
and murmured, "Tell me you didn't do this because you're feeling guilty."
"Nothing to do with taking the kids out to party, on my honor -- what there
is of it, anyway."
"Kakashi," Iruka said, leaning a bit on his teacher-voice. "Tell me
you didn't do this because you're feeling guilty."
After a moment, he sighed, and looked away, and said, "You said you didn't
trust me anymore. And even before that, you didn't trust me to help pay the
bills. You keep trying to take care of everything all by yourself. You shouldn't
have to. We're in this together. What point is there in being the master of a
thousand techniques if I couldn't think of a way to make them help you? I just
decided it was time to make my contribution a little more tangible. --And harder
to refuse, because you keep trying that too."
"Hmm?" He was nuzzling at Iruka's belly again, scattering soft ticklish
kisses purely for the sake of teasing this time, without a motive beyond
distraction; Iruka tangled his hands in Kakashi's hair and pulled his head away
so that he could concentrate enough to think.
"Stop that," he said, hoping he didn't sound as uncertain about the request
as he felt. "Kakashi. What happened to the speech about 'not ignoring my
Kakashi's eye sobered immediately. After a moment, he said, "I thought you'd
agreed that it was a good idea to seal you."
"It was," Iruka said, a little helplessly. "I just didn't know you meant --
this. I thought you meant solidifying my hold on the jutsu, not... not making me
into some kind of chakra-leeching almost-vampire draining your life from
"Wait, wait, wait," Kakashi said, both hands up. "It's not like that.
When you're feeling rested and well, you won't be drawing anything from
me. Anything at all. It's just... insurance. When you most need someone's
strength to support you, that's when you'll have what you need from me. That's
all it is."
"Can't you undo it?" Iruka asked in a very small voice.
"...Love, are you truly asking me to not give you what you need, at
the times when you most need it?"
"No," Iruka said, miserable. "Maybe. I don't know. I'm asking you not to risk
yourself over something stupid just because you're feeling guilty."
"Then we're fine just as we are," Kakashi replied, with a droll grin. "Since
this is hardly something stupid."
After so many years of life around Kakashi, some things were evident even
when they were hidden underneath a couple of underneaths. "In other words, you
are risking yourself because you're feeling guilty."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to."
"...You know, love, you don't always have to read three extra layers
into everything I say."
"If it weren't true," Iruka replied with a sigh, "you'd just have denied it
"Do you really expect me not to feel guilty after you've told me how
much I've damaged your trust in me tonight?"
"...I expect you not to hurt yourself because of it. I expect you not to make
me hurt you..."
"Then we're fine again." Kakashi smiled up again, and took Iruka's hands and
brought both palms close enough to kiss the ticklish points in the hollow of the
palms. "You won't hurt me. I promise. --Now can we get back to the 'kiss
and make out' part of the morning?"
"I told you, it's 'kiss and make up', you lech--" Iruka stopped short
with a squeak, because one of Kakashi's hands was tickling its way up underneath
the pajama top. Slapping at the wayward hand didn't work very well because the
fabric shielded it, and since the arm was halfway under the fabric too, there
was no easy handhold to stop him; hastily, Iruka shaped a few seals with his
hands and called, "Pervert counteraction no jutsu!"
...And nothing happened, rather uncomfortably. It felt a bit like stubbing a
toe, only all over.
"Wait a minute--" Iruka reshaped the seals carefully, and tried again. And
...And Kakashi looked absolutely delighted with the universe.
The last piece fell into place, with earth-shaking horror rumbling in its
"You sealed me-- you sealed me into this jutsu -- which means I
can't-- I can't--!" Iruka stopped, took a deep breath, and shouted at the top of
his lungs, "YOU WERE PLANNING ON THIS, WEREN'T YOU?!"
"I had no idea!" Kakashi protested, laughing. "Not that I'm going to
Hastily, Kakashi extracted his hand from Iruka's shirt. "Breakfast!" he said
far too brightly. "I should go make breakfast. How does breakfast in bed sound?
I owe it to you, right? So you can go back to bed and sleep in and let me coddle
you, because I owe you some pampering silly, don't I? So I'll just be going
"NO EGGS!" Iruka roared.
Kakashi held up two inoffensive hands. "I promise. No grease, no making the
"No, I mean no EGGS! At ALL!" Iruka shot back. "You remember
what happened the LAST time you cooked eggs?!"
"...Oh. Right. That." Scratching behind an ear, Kakashi said, "Suppose I boil
"...I don't know. Is there any possible way you can end up destroying
the kitchen trying that? Because if there is, then NO!"
"I don't know whether to be flattered or indignant," Kakashi said wryly. "No
matter what you think of my Sharingan skills, I swear on everything that's holy
-- not even I can manage to burn water."
"You're sure about that?" Iruka growled.
"Reasonably sure, I think. Although if you really want me to try and
see if I can get a spark out of it--"
"NO!" Iruka pointed at the ground beside Chibi. "I'm cooking
"Sit. Stay. Now."
Dutifully, Kakashi dropped to the ground, and if he'd had a tail to wag, it
would have been thumping away. "Shall I roll over too?" he offered. And he
promptly suited deeds to words, rolling onto his back with his hands tucked up
like paws and the tip of his tongue peeking out. "...Rub my tummy?"
Iruka tried to keep glaring. He really tried. But he had to breathe,
and when he tried to breathe, the muffled half-snort of laughter escaped, and
then he just gave up. "...Dammit! Stop being so damn cute at me--!"
"Yes, dear." He blinked totally unfair puppy-eyed wistfulness up at Iruka,
and added hopefully, "Rub my tummy now? You know you want to."
Iruka struggled with that for a long moment, weighing the temptation to
tickle against the abstract need not to encourage his incorrigible brat of a
"...Or shall I rub your tummy?" Kakashi offered, working entirely too hard on
the puppy eyes. "Or better yet--"
He rolled over further, caught Iruka's hips in his hands despite the awkward
angle, and with a startling display of the strength concealed in that lanky
frame, Kakashi lifted Iruka over and settled their bodies together, legs
"Efficiency," Kakashi mused, one hand already coaxing the waistband of
Iruka's pajamas lower, and the other fumbling at the buttons which still ran
down his back. "We both want our tummies rubbed, right? So if you rub your tummy
against mine, then we both have our hands free for the rest of the kissing and
In desperation, Iruka tried the last thing he could think of. "Chibi! Sic
Chibi looked over and blinked enormous befuddled yellow eyes.
"You didn't honestly expect that to work, did you?" Kakashi asked
amusedly, half done with the buttons.
"...All right, Chibi -- lick him!"
Chibi perked up immediately, and the huge head swiveled around.
The look of outraged betrayal Kakashi turned on them both was priceless... in
the two seconds before his face vanished into the beach-towel-sized tongue.
Iruka rolled himself out of the drool radius hastily, groping for an umbrella
just in case.
A second swipe nearly took Kakashi's shirt off with it.
"Good boy, Chibi," Iruka said, patting the enormous dog's shoulder as he
struggled to his feet. "You keep right on licking until I've got the kitchen
Chibi put a dinner-plate-sized paw on Kakashi's chest and settled in to show
his full devoted love and slobbering adoration for his master.
Half an hour later, Iruka had just put the boiled eggs in the colander in the
sink to cool down when a mud-splattered apparition walked in the back door. Half
of Kakashi's hair was standing straight up and the other half was plastered to
his skull by various applications of doggy-lick and downpour. Iruka hastily
clamped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing too loudly and waking
Sasuke, who was still curled up under the table.
"You win," Kakashi said wearily.
"You just win, that's all." He started to plow a hand through his hair, then
looked at what happened to his hand and made a face. "I'll finish breakfast,
I'll make nice non-flammable cereal, I won't even touch the stove. I'll be good
for the rest of the week. Just don't sic Chibi on me again."
"Only the rest of the week?" Iruka asked.
"Be a little merciful here, will you?" Kakashi begged. "Do you want a month?
I don't know if I have it in me..."
"Two weeks, and some more milk and strawberries?" Iruka counter-offered. "We
ran out last night."
"And peanut butter."
"A loaf of bread and a crate of ramen, too. There's five of us for breakfast
now, and one of them's Naruto. Is the grocery on the corner open yet?"
"I don't know. I'll go find out." He stumbled toward the door again; Iruka
reached over and caught a handful of damp muddy shirt.
"You might want to shower first," Iruka suggested carefully, trying hard not
to laugh. "Otherwise Mrs. Ichimura is going to wonder what war zone you just
walked out of."
"Yes, dear." Kakashi stumbled toward the stairs, then stopped, vaguely
swaying, in the doorway.
"Would you do one thing for me?" he asked, soberly. "Go back to bed. You're
running on adrenaline and the boost of the chakra from the sealing, but it's
going to hit you sometime, and I'd rather know you were safely resting while I'm
Heedless of the damp and the mud and the doggy drool, Iruka walked across the
room and put both arms around him and held on tightly. "I love you," he murmured
into Kakashi's shoulder. "Don't do this to either of us again."
Kakashi made a rather vain attempt at wiping off his hand on a less-muddy
patch of his pants before he stroked Iruka's hair. "I love you too," he said.
"And now we both need a shower. --I'll bet there's room for two and a half if
Iruka let go promptly at that. "No."
"I thought you said you wanted me resting," Iruka said, struggling not to
grin despite himself. "If we both get into that shower, I'm not going to be
resting, am I. And I don't want us to wake the kids."
"Go take your shower." Iruka looked in some dismay at his mud-streaked hands,
and said, "I'll use the sink."
Kakashi tried one more application of the puppy eyes, through sheer knee-jerk
"Two weeks, remember? You promised."
"...This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life."
50,000 hits on this story since February! (boggling again) Wow...
(pant pant pant wheeze) Yes, I'm still alive, despite the efforts of this
summer to kill me. No, I'm not kidding much. Starting with my office lights
bursting into fire and sparks when I walked in, going through Niagara Falls
coming from my apartment's shower ceiling fan, continuing on through new-writing
and revising a quarter of our 2,500-page website in four weeks, having only 3
weekends of actual in-town time the ENTIRE summer, and spending most of those
madly working on the aforementioned quarter-of-the-website update while working
10 to 16 hour days six or seven days a week...
Thank you for being patient with me -- about 95 percent of you were understanding
anyway, and that's a MUCH higher ratio than last time around, and I'm very,
very grateful for that.
(I'm also slowly getting better at ignoring the raving idiots who are still
demanding updates like I'm a personal failure for not anticipating their desires
and not putting my ability to sleep and earn a living second to their
entertainment... I seem to recall getting beaten with a virtual coconut with an
update demand this time around; I seriously have to wonder if some people even
read chapters or if they just post knee-jerk 'update' reviews as soon as they
see something HAS been updated or what...)
(I also found out that people actually discussed this fic at a con (wow!) ,
apparently I kept several people up reading as late as Kakashi kept Iruka and
the kids (er, sorry about that?) and got my first marriage proposal from chapter
21 (hee hee hee!). I'm, er, boggled at all the reactions... wildly flattered
too, but mostly boggled! Thank you again...)
Someone mentioned that I'd forgotten to credit a song in chapter 21 -
"Foolish Games" by Jewel; sorry about that!
Another question that came up:
Why 'Iruka' and not 'Iruko'? Because Iruka is the person, and Iruko is the
semblance-of-a-person. Iruka is the name of the person inside the body; Iruko is
the female form being worn like a different set of clothes. Iruka's the person
they're all dealing with -- the schoolteacher, the person who loves Kakashi, the
reality inside the different body. They only say 'Iruko' when they're
specifically observing that the female body isn't his own. But it's easier to
spend a year undercover answering to your own name instead of someone else's --
just like he never changed his face, only the 'plumbing,' because the less
that's a lie, the easier it is not to make a mistake... that's the same reason
that most of the time I use a male pronoun for him. The truth of what he is is a
male person; he's just in a female body for a while. When they're talking aloud,
they say "she" for the sake of the listeners and because they're speaking from
the outside in, but Iruka still thinks of himself as a "he" inside, and most of
the story's written from his perspective, from the inside looking out... does
that make sense? (Maybe I've taken too many years of Japanese class, where you
often use entirely different verb forms depending on the relationship of the
speaker to the direction of the action -- towards, away from, or tangential to
the speaker... speaking of which, this would actually be easier in Japanese,
because pronoun use is SO much more rare that Naruto wouldn't have to remember
nearly as often. But I'm writing in English, so I have to make the English make
There was something else I was going to ramble about but I've forgotten what
it was so I'm just going to post it and get on with starting the next chapter...
hopefully (hopefully) it won't take me two months plus this
LJ edit to add: Ah, irony. It wasn't two months, it was ELEVEN... granted life went ballistic, my laptop died, and I still did manage several one-shots in the interim, but still. Irony is a bitch.