|chibirisuchan (chibirisuchan) wrote,|
@ 2005-07-13 20:54:00
Side Effects, Chapter 10
Part of Iruka regretted the loss of half a week of classes
less than a month before the children left for their summer vacations. Even
though the building was enclosed again, there was simply no point in holding
classes one rather thin wall away from people with hammers and power tools
reconstructing the inside of the kitchen. And another part of him was guiltily
relieved at the delay, because it gave him more time to work on something that
he really couldn't do while he was teaching... or even when he had to stand
He'd learned the parts of sexy-no-jutsu that involved
becoming visibly female, but he was already an adult, and so unlike Naruto he
hadn't needed to drastically shift his height in the process. So he'd concentrated
on mastering the most essential parts, and hadn't bothered changing his
skeletal structure. And he wasn't looking forward to making up for that
oversight. Reshaping and force-healing bones always hurt. But he had to do it
soon, or else the baby would be getting big enough that he wouldn't have the
strike range to fracture his pelvic arch without risking hurting the baby in
Kakashi had tried to talk him into just working on shifting
everything with sexy-no-jutsu. But one hour of sparring had finished off that
idea. Iruka could hold sexy-no-jutsu through the most ridiculous flirts,
gropes, and surprises that Kakashi could think of -- but whenever Kakashi swung
anything toward Iruka's abdomen, Iruka instantly reverted to the body he was stronger
with and most comfortable fighting in... and then he lost his balance. Less
than halfway through the pregnancy, the child's weight was slight enough that
he could correct before he fell; later on, he knew he wouldn't have that
The instinct ran far deeper than conscious thought, to
protect his child with the body in which he was best trained. He wasn't going
to be able to train himself out of it in time.
And it was just safer this way. He'd never before gained
this much weight this quickly in one unbalancing area; if he reset his bone
structure earlier rather than later, then the only shifts in balance he'd have
to learn would be due to the child's growth. He didn't trust himself to learn
how to carry the child's changing weight in two different arrangements of hips
and shoulders and leg joints.
The truly hellish part, Iruka thought humorlessly, was that
this was all necessary because of the baby -- and yet again because of the
baby, he wouldn't even be able to take painkillers for it.
With a hand resting against the gently rising curve of his
abdomen, Iruka said, "You know, kid, I hope someday you appreciate all
Kakashi stuck his head around the bedroom door. "You're
determined to do this?"
Iruka nodded. "I'm not looking forward to it,
but I'm determined."
Kakashi's eyes went cheerfully unreadable. This was never, ever
a good sign.
"Kakashi, what are you--"
His lover's hand appeared around the edge of the doorway,
with a throwing dart in it.
Sharingan. Haku. Oh, hell--
That was the last thing Iruka had time to think before the
world went dark.
- - -
Kakashi looked down at Iruka's limp figure, sighed, and sat
on his heels to run his hands over the arch of his hips.
He doesn't know anything about the inside of women's pelvic
bones anyway. Too shy to read anything really educational; if I left it
to him to redesign his hips, God knows what he'd come up with. And there's no
way in hell anyone could fracture their own pelvis twice; you'd be lucky not to
pass out at the first strike. All right, let's see here.
He'd already decided it would be safer to use a sound attack
than a physical strike; flesh transmitted sound waves without much damage, but
the rigid resistance of bone could be shattered at certain carefully
overlapping frequencies. And if he turned Iruka onto his stomach and struck
downward at an angle from his back, then the baby wouldn't be in the path of
the sound waves; that book said that the baby wouldn't have finished forming
bone yet anyway...
Kakashi closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and set his
fingers to his lips, humming in a subvocal range until he felt the resonance
hit the right pitch. Then he opened his eyes and struck.
- - -
It took Iruka a long, long time to realize he was actually
conscious again, partially because it was dark outside, and partially because
he was completely and utterly limp in what felt like the aftermath of
When he managed to put a name to that feeling, it stirred a
little indignation, but he was so far lost in boneless bliss that he couldn't
seem to manage to protest it. With a giggle that sounded giddy even to his own
ears, Iruka asked a shadow in the windowsill, "Took shameless advantage of
an unresisting body to try that book on...? If that's what happened here...
then I've got to read that...!"
Kakashi chuckled, low-pitched. "Words I never thought
I'd hear you say. I ought to seize the opportunity while you're clearly not
thinking like yourself, you know. Damn, looks like I haven't managed to banish all
my morals yet."
"So what happened...?"
"I rerouted some things," Kakashi said.
"Instead of feeding into your pain receptors, all those nerve endings are
feeding into your pleasure receptors for a while. Closest I could think of to a
drug-free painkiller that doesn't leave you paralyzed, anyway."
Iruka thought about it, and blinked a couple of times,
hazily. "Can I get you to do this to me again...?"
Kakashi struggled with himself for a long, long minute.
"...Damn stupid morals...! I have got to do something about
"Opportunity doesn't knock every day," Iruka
purred, and tried to reach toward him. The resulting jolt of pure euphoria made
his breath catch short, and then he made a near-animalistic sound of utter
bliss. "Get down here...!"
Kakashi was kneeling at his side in a heartbeat -- but
rather than stripping him and starting to play, the silver-haired figure bent
over him and touched careful hands to the splints and restraints holding him in
place. "...Don't do that. Don't move. Hell, I guess there's a
reason to let a little bit of the ache get through after all; I've got to let
you know how not to hurt yourself..." He stopped, blinked, and shook his
head sharply. "Bad idea. Bad idea. I'm not going to wire you to get pain and pleasure that tangled
up. Just... trust me on this one, okay? Don't move for a few more
"Awww...!" The pressure of breathing enough to
speak sent a waterfall of bliss pouring through every nerve in his body, and he
giggled again, breathless.
Kakashi shut his eyes tight, struggling against unspeakable
Just breathing was enough to send delight shivering through
him; a vague and distant corner of Iruka's mind observed that that had to be
saying something about the amount of pain he would otherwise have been in, but
the rest of his mind was too busy exulting in the orgasmic effect of being
alive to take much notice of it. He reached for Kakashi's hand, rubbed a thumb
needily against the hollow of his palm, and purred deep in his throat.
Even half mad with ecstasy, he knew the limits of Kakashi's
self-restraint well enough to break them when he really wanted to. With a
heartfelt groan, Kakashi bent over and brushed his lips against Iruka's, softly
at first, and then stronger.
But somehow, that didn't seem to be affecting him at all.
Iruka struggled to reach closer, to beg for more, and something in the attempt
at motion set off a wild cascade of fireworks behind his eyes.
With a shuddering sigh, Kakashi nipped his lower lip, and
Iruka finally managed to connect the little jolt of delight with the thought
that it should have hurt.
"Being gentle isn't going to do anything for you right
now," Kakashi said, his voice ragged with desire and frustration.
"And I'm not enough of a bastard to hurt you. And you don't need me the
way you think you do right now, much as it pains me to admit that... close your
eyes and go back to sleep."
"Kakashi...!" Iruka gazed up at him with
completely unfair puppydog eyes hazed with raw lust.
Kakashi swore under his breath, and took out another needle.
- - -
Despite completely undue temptation the next few times Iruka
woke, Kakashi managed to keep him both still and fairly quiet for the next
couple of days, until the bones had knitted back together enough under the
pressure of accelerated healing for it to be safe to let him move on his own.
The casts came off by the weekend; at that point, since there weren't any
outward signs left, and since his pain had eased to a level where he was no
longer blissfully trying to seduce anything that moved, Kakashi thought it was
safe enough to let the construction workers and the occasional curious child
Iruka spent most of his time carefully settled in the sofa
or a hammock, still drowsing between the drain of healing and his body's own
sleepy reaction to prolonged pleasure. He read the same chapter of the
pregnancy book four or five times, because it kept slipping out of his hands
when he nodded off, and he never remembered where it was he'd fallen asleep the
And he didn't even complain about meals that consisted
entirely of takeout ramen, strawberries, and prenatal vitamins. In one sense,
it wasn't Kakashi's fault he couldn't cook anything, since the wall with the
stove still didn't have its connections back in place. Of course, in the other
sense, that was entirely Kakashi's fault too, so he just crossed his fingers
and hoped Iruka didn't notice.
They spent most of Sunday teaching Iruka how to walk again.
Kakashi had corrected his nerve paths, so that Iruka could tell if he was doing
something he wasn't supposed to do; but Iruka kept inexplicably laughing
anyway, even without the shift in the neural feedback.
"How do women do this?" he asked, leaning
most of his weight on locked arms on the railings as he very, very cautiously
practiced going up and down the first three steps of the stairway.
"Everything's... down, and forward, and... --I'm going to have to commend
Sakura-kun again when we get back; I don't know how she even walks around...
particularly when you add things like those ridiculous six-inch high heels to
the mess! How do any of them keep from breaking their necks?"
"Practice, I suppose," Kakashi said drolly.
"And speaking of practice, I'm still planning on taking you up on that
"You said you wanted to read through That Book for
inspirational purposes, remember?"
Iruka's jaw dropped, and he let go of the railing in order
to lunge at Kakashi. "You liar!"
"No I'm not!" Kakashi protested, dodging
and planting both fists on his hips. "Well, all right, sometimes, but not this
time--" He ducked another swing, and said, "Honestly, if I was going
to make up a lie like that, wouldn't I make up something that made sense?"
"Being late for graduation because mutant orchid
grasshoppers were staging a revolt and trying to seize control of the nation's
vital kumquat shipping trade?"
"Well, you see..."
"Missing the end of Sakura-kun's first solo mission
because the Holy Ramen Spring had been blown up by rice-eating terrorists who
knew the Konoha ninja would be so demoralized by a week of nothing but rice
porridge that they could walk in and have their way with their sex goddess
"I can explain that--"
"Turning up four hours late for our anniversary date
because Naruto and Sasuke had started shagging each other in the middle of
trying to kill each other, and then you had to stop them both from killing themselves
long enough to get them to cheer up and work on killing each other
"That actually happened!"
Iruka stopped in the middle of the room and stared down at
his feet. "...I didn't fall over?"
Clinging to the top of the light fixture he'd scrambled up
to keep Iruka from committing assault and battery, Kakashi said encouragingly,
"See? That's progress!"
Iruka took a couple more experimental steps, to make sure he
could still do it consciously as opposed to instinctively while in the grip of
mad bloodlust; then he laughed again.
"All right, this time I forgive you. I suppose you were
right, at that; I probably wasn't going to stop worrying and just move until
you got me irritated enough to try to strangle you again. But you just know all
the buttons to push, don't you?"
With a morose little sigh, Kakashi said, "But I wasn't
lying. Damn, I should've known it was too good to last... all right, that does
it; next time, screw the morals..."
Wow, this is taking longer than I thought; I originally
thought it was going to be three or four chapters. But they just keep DOING
things, and things keep exploding, and then Kakashi makes a naughty suggestion
in my head, and then Iruka tries to kill him before I can write it down, and
that turns out hilarious to watch, and it just keeps snowballing... I
originally thought this piece was going to be maybe half a page of exposition
and then on to the next piece of the story, except then Kakashi pulled out the
needle, and... ^^;;; one of these days I've got to learn to put a leash on the
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews! (A first-ever review?
I'm flattered! And grateful too... now I just hope I don't screw up the story
and disappoint people... ^^;;)